1. Oddly, my roommate and I got on topic about gay marriage. Actually, it really isn't THAT odd because it is something that is more and more serious every day. I have a cousin who was born male, but has always believed that he was meant to be female. He dresses as a girl and does everything the typical girl does. My family was Catholic before, but the Church refused to accept of his ways and denied my family. They had to switch to First Congregational, a church that I have grown up with that accepts differentiality.
Onto the debate part...I randomly asked the question "If God does not accept gay people then why do males have a G-spot in their (you-know)?" Is there a reason why males have a sexual place there and women don't? It boiled down to the human anatomy and I asked everyone I knew. Some people thought I was nuts and sick in the head for even wondering something like that, but it makes you wonder that 'If God doesn't want men to be with other men, then why would he give them a spot to be pleasurable with other men? After researching with my coworker we found out that women do too. So, that put a rest to that thought.
2. There are other things that I don't find very fallible when it comes to religion. For some reason, I have this friend that is not religious at all. Yeah, he does good, but he doesn't ever talk about God and how he is ever "thankful" for the path that God has given him. He says "Count your Blessings" and that he has the life because HE made it that way. I get it....but life is not that hard for him. NO JOKE. All his friends go through things and life is seriously a breeze for this kid. He has it really good and he knows it. Why would God give such an easy life for someone who isn't even a believer?
3. Is religion just something to keep the world at peace? If we didn't have religion then our world would be chaotic. It could possibly be a way for people to just enjoy life and to not be so afraid of death. People have to be told that they are going somewhere afterwards so they don't freak out. It's a comforting matter. We will never know.
There are so many things that have made me question my faith, but I can't necessarily think of all of them right now. At my time in life, it's a constant question..."Religion or Science?" Which is more right? I usually have to see something to believe it and don't understand why God can't just give people like us in this day and age a sign that he IS here?! If God gave all these signs and such way back when, then why is it such a problem to do so now?
This is where I am getting at...Yesterday was a total turnaround for me. There are some people that believe in signs, and some that believe that signs are just a way to make people feel more at ease. Kind of like having something to fall back on. I used to believe in signs....I would see them everyday! It was always when I was LEAST expecting them. I would think "is this supposed to mean what I think it is?" Until these signs drove me into a phychological mess. Not kidding. I would end up thinking "This is supposed to happen and why hasn't it yet?" After that I blew up and decided that I don't believe in signs anymore. It was a very depressing time in my life and I NEVER want to go back to that anymore. I now beleive everything is mental. You can control ANYTHING you want with your mind. You just have to know how to work it.
Yesterday was a totally different thing for me though. My grandpa had brain surgery and there was a good chance that he would not survive. He had a brain tumor under his brain and it took the doctors nearly 10 hours to get the whole procedure done. Oddly there were no complications what so ever. I call this a miracle. He is already walking and talking today and I can't believe it! This miracle has made me more faithful to God than ever.
My grandpa was not a Christian when he first met my grandmother. He later thought that he wanted to expand his relationship with my grandma and become closer to God. Becoming a Southern Baptist preacher at my church growing up, he taught me all I know about the Lord. My grandpa is the best description of a Man that I can think of. He has always been such a gentleman, taking care of our whole family, and living his life for God everyday. My family is very religious on my mom's side, and because they were so religious it made me want to find a way to prove them wrong.
Going to college you learn new things and it opens your mind to all these theories and stories. But the truth is that you have to be faithful. I'm not one to try and convince someone to be a Christian, but until after my grandfather's sugery I always doubted my religion. I feel like God was with my grandpa during his surgery and my grandpa knew it the whole time. That surgery is a very dangerous one, but since my grandpa has been a good and faithful christian, God made it easy for him. It was hard for other faimilies to see my ENTIRE family being in the waiting room and constantly hearing good news when some were accompanied by flat-liners. Disturbing, as my sister described it, but you could feel the presesnce of God is how most would describe.
A few little side stories that I think are pretty interesting that lead up to my grandpas surgery:
*A large colorful tucan-like bird flew into my grandparent's yard just a couple days before his surgery. They had to call some animal control thing to get it down. The bird liked my grandpa and sat perched on his arm. My grandpa LOVES birds and likes to go bird watching when it's nice out. They found out that the owners of the bird lived two houses down from them. The woman just so happened to be one of the nurses who worked at the hospital that my grandpa's surgery was at.
*Originally my grandpa had seen a surgeon who was moving to Oregon to continue his practice. The surgeon gave the name of another doctor who my grandpa would be working with. After a while, my grandpa received a phone call from the hospital saying that the orignal surgeon that's moving would like to see him again...7:30 am sharp. My granparents went to the hospital to see him and the surgeon looked confused. He said "what are you doing here Dennis?" My grandpa said "I was told to meet with you." The surgeon said that he had no recollection of saying anything like that, but they carried on in conversation. My grandpa told him "I am not afraid of death. I am a firm believer in Jesus Christ and I feel like everything will be OK. God is telling me that it is going to be OK." The surgeon went on and told my grandpa how is was born a Muslim and then switched over to Christianity. He prays everytime before his surgeries and even said a prayer for my grandpa. It's just kinda cool how things happen :)
What I am saying is that I grew up as a believer. You go through your phases of questioning things and wondering if you are wasting your time. Everyone has a different outlook on things in life and after all this wondering I was presented with a miracle. My question to God was answered. He gave me the sign that I have been asking for and he used my Grandpa to show it. I will no longer doubt God and live life by loving him and thanking him.
Count Your Blessings!
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