Creatures of Habit

As humans we are creatures of habit.  We have the certain things we do, we get bored, change it up a bit, and more than likely go back to our old ways because it’s what we feel as “comfortable.”

People are predictable.  Your body functions a certain way because of the needs and wants that it craves.  Think of it this way:  we are creatures of habit.  We need food and water to survive and when we don’t have it we fight for it.  Our body goes into starvation mode and we will do whatever it takes to get it.  Personalities are the same way, only that the things we long for we don’t necessarily “need” we just “want” them.  People are used to having things like affection, alone time, human interaction, and sex.  If they go without having it for a while they have withdrawals and look for ways to have them again.   

The most common scenario that I’ve recognized with men and women is the sex issue.  Men crave sex more than women typically do because they think that they “need” it.  They actually just “want” it from a result of being more visual.  The thought of males needing to “spread their seed” is a little misleading.  I believe that men actually do this out of dominance and not just because they feel the need to spread anything…especially STDs.  Men tend to feel more powerful and a bit domineering when having sex with a woman.  Most men feel a sense of pride after they engage in it; women on the other hand feel the opposite.  A study done by Neil Rose, a marketing professor at the Northwestern University of Chicago,  showed that after surveying 370 adults aged 20 to 80 across the United States asking what they’re biggest regret was.  For women 44% of it was sex and for men 19% of it was sex.  The men’s biggest regrets came from work-related issues.

Why is it that women regret sex more than men?  Women are mental analysts.  Think of it this way, when a man thinks, he is able to concentrate on one thing at a time.  Sports:  he is watching the game and if you are talking to him he will have to pause to be able to listen to you and enjoy the game at the same time.  Women on the other hand, their mind is like a honey comb.  All those little compartments are constantly filled with little bits of information, weaving around their mind at the same time.  Women can do more than one thing at once.  We are pretty talented, juggling babies on our hips, cooking dinner, and talking on the phone all at one time.  It’s what we are wired to do.  Because women connect intellectually, they often regret one-night stands because it makes them feel less powerful, like they have been dominated in a way.  Men see what they want and they go for it.  They are the hunters wanting the prey.  They will do whatever it takes to get what they want.  Women are natural gatherers.  They gather information from all aspects and analyze it before making a final decision.  One-night stands do not give them enough time to decipher a good or bad decision, not saying that some women don’t want a get-a-way for a night. 

So where am I going with this?  Men and women are both creatures of habit.  At this age, typically college ages, men go through this phase where they feel as if they want to screw anything that walks.  They are visual people, so what they see they want.  They don’t want to settle down because they have the fear of losing their freedom to roam and having options. With women, they are intellectual people so they want the commitment.  Two people wanting two completely different things, yet wanting each other at the same time.  So what typically happens?  The man commits to the woman, only he isn’t so serious about it (if a person is used to sleeping around a lot then it’s hard for them to break that habit).  He has the girl on the side that is his fuck buddy, or more than one, and then he has the serious girl he dates.  It’s very common and most people don’t even know that they are involved in relationships like this, especially girls.  The guy gets dumped by the serious girlfriend because she is done dealing with his bullshit, and then he comes crawling back because he realizes that she knows him better than any of those one night stands.  She gets him.  They don’t.  The man panics, thinking he has lost his one and only because he realizes how lonely his is.  He may have the sex, but not the connection like he did with the serious girlfriend.  This is where the man feels the “void.”  It’s usually about the same time that the woman has moved on and it makes him want her even more.  Men want what they can’t have, and when their one-and-only doesn’t want them it drives them insane. 

To get what you want you have to break habits.  People become too comfortable with routine and it becomes too easy.  If you want to be with a faithful woman, you have to be a faithful man and give up your side job.  Same goes for women.  It would be blanket advice for me to say that this happens to "everyone."  This happens to some people, more than I'd like, and I see them hurt.  It's sad, but to get what you want you have to break habits and do what's best for yourself.   The devil is in the details so look at the big picture ladies.

*Thank you Michelle for inspiring me to write this :)  I hope you figure out what's best for yourself!

I am an artist

Tonight is different among all nights. I have had a long day at work, my computer is acting slow, and my iPhone screen is still cracked. Nothing new, of course, but something about today is different to reflect on. It definitely has to do with my outlook on life. For some reason, I feel the need to write about it. I clear off my desk that I never use. Moving glass cups full of water that satisfied last weekend’s hangover, my Bible that I haven’t read for two weeks, and my pallet of paints…dried to crisp from last weekend’s painting of a naked ass of a woman. I look at those paintings and think “Those Fucking Suck. You could have done better. Drink next time you want to paint, so you can allow yourself to be more vulnerable…the artist you were meant to be… The artist I want to be.” The problem is…can I be that as I am?


Have you ever read the “Purpose Driven Life?” Well, in case you haven’t it deals with a man dying and realizing that the people he never thought about had the most impact in his life, and were all connected in some sort of way. Today I feel like that story is sort of parallel with mine.

This last weekend I watched the movie “The Vow” and didn’t like it. Although, something about it just lingers in my mind. The main character that Rachel McAdams plays is somewhat like me in a way. She goes to school to be this prestigious business-like person and realizes that there is more to life than what she has. She trades in all her things and sacrifices it for the things she deeply loves, but never really realized. She becomes an artist and finds a man that loves her for everything she is or has become. Channing Tatum plays this man, and boy is he sexy! He will do anything to fight for this woman and love her for all her imperfections. Aside from all the love, she does what she loves and doesn’t care who she is. She becomes vulnerable, in a sense I guess, and sees how happy she is not having to please people all the time. I love this and it reminds me of how my Grandpa would always say “God has a plan for you and everything happens for a reason.”

My family has been through a lot. Everyone’s family has been through a lot. I’m just finally realizing what my calling pertains to. It’s not about money, it’s not about fame, it’s not about being funny…it’s all about the game. Yes, life is a game. This is the point where I wish I knew more about poker because it would be perfect to explain in how life correlates with it. But no, the best game I know is “Go Fish.” You have a hand of cards…playing against other people. You ask if they have what you have. They either have it, or they don’t. The person with the most cards wins. People in life either have what you’re looking for or they don’t. So…you can take it…or you can leave it. Problem solved. Your choices all lead you to a path in life. It is truly a journey. You go through heartbreaks, happiness spells, realizations, and faults. It’s just crazy how living in one town can make you feel all of those in a matter of 6 years. It’s also crazy how the littlest things impact your life.

Isn’t it the truth when your parent’s say “You’ll understand when you are older?” As much as I tried to distant myself from my family when I was younger…I was more like them than I even knew myself. I tried to be this perfect virgin-like girl that did nothing wrong, when all along all I wanted to be was myself. But through experience and different friendships and love spells I learned to accept myself and take into account for what I was worth. Take into account my talents. And, take into account my girly-ness.

I am an artist. My feelings are expressed in my work. My love for things is expressed only at my most vulnerable times. My true self is really hard to express because the world is so judgmental and everyone has something bad to say about you. As hard as I try to be perfect…I never will be. I will never be the girl that I try to be. I’ll never be that perfect figured sorority girl, but that is ok. I’m fine with it now. I’m older…so I understand, just like my parents’ promised me. I am me, an artist, longing for change, adventure, excitement, vodka at the end of my work shifts, and love at the beginning and end of every day.