Collaboration: What Men Should and Should NOT do {Written by Kallyn & Callie}

This last weekend I went out with a couple friends and one in particular was asking us to "hook him up" with someone. He was telling me that he wanted some advice about girls so I gave him some. I asked Kallyn to help me make a collaboration of some more. Asking some of the women we work with "What are some things that you think men should and shouldn't do," this is what we came up with.

*DO*

1. Open doors for any and all girls, regardless if you are attracted to them or not. It shows respect and that you are caring. You never know who could be watching.

2. Give complements. A complement from a man is way different than a complement coming from another woman and you will instantly see her being flattered.

3. BE THE HUNTER! A guy who goes out of his way for a girl will definitely be remembered. She will think of you instead of all that other nonsense that she thinks about constantly. (Women are thinkers!)

4. Have a car and/or a job. It doesn't matter what you do or have just as long as you have one. STUDENTS ARE EXCEPTIONS! (when you are in college it's more acceptable) It just shows that you have the things you need and won't be dependent on anyone else. An independent man is attractive.

5. Personal Maintenence: Learn it, live it, love it. Women are known to have a stronger sense of smell than men. They will notice if you are stinky and will definitely notice if you smell nice ;)

6. Make eye contact. When you don't make eye contact it shows insecurity, nervousness, and that you aren't listening. Your confidence will make her confident. Plus...it's sexy.

7. LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN!!!! If she is talking too much that is one thing...cut her off, but when she is telling you something it's polite to pay attention to her and give feedback.

8. Be creative. Coming up with new things makes her think you are fun and adventurous. No one likes a broken record.

9. Say what you mean and mean what you say. If you tell her that you are going to do something that weekend then own up to it. You blow her off and she will never forget that. If it's a MAYBE, then make that clear and tell her that it isn't going to happen if you don't plan on it. No one likes waiting around.

10. Texting: We all know it's hard to tell the meaning behind what it said, but if you inititate it...FINISH IT!

11. Find a 100 reasons to buy her flowers. THAT is charming!

12. If you ask her out then you should pay for her. Even if she says "Oh I'll pay for myself" don't let her. Women like for men to be "In charge" at first. After you become more comfortable with eachother is when it's good to trade off.

13. If you are sorry then say it. Something with men about saying the words "I'm Sorry" means more than saying "woops..my bad." It means a lot!



*DON'T*

1. Gift Cards. Major no no for the first 3 dates. Unless you mention that you have one ahead of time and that you need to use it, don't whip it out last minute (that's what she said) when the bill arrives! Terribly Tacky.

2. Don't be a creep monster. Too much too fast is far fetched and won't last.

3. If you are interested in her, don't talk about other women. She will end up thinking you have wandering eyes and a wandering mind.

4. Don't be rude to the server or leave her a skimpy tip. It's plainly embarrassing. Always 20%. It's the millenium Gentlemen.

5. Don't just drop the woman off. If you are classy you will walk her to her door after taking her home.

6. NO GAME ON THE FIRST DATE! If you stay reserved it shows you like her for who she is and not what she's "got."

7. Farting or burping is not allowed when you first meet them. Later on if they are open to it...ok fine. But the first time? TOO comfortable for her.

8. Don't be just the funny or hard-headed guy. Show emotions and that you have a real side to you.

9. Don't be just the sentimental guy. Show that you have some sort of sense of humor and make her laugh. Like number 8, mix it up!

10. Don't ONLY text message!!! A phone call is personal and hearing the other person's voice makes it easier to get your point across. Text messaging can ruin relationships by relaying the wrong message.

Things I think & Some Advice

1. I hate loofas. Why use the same washing thingy over and over when all it does is collect germs. USE A WASHCLOTH! I use a new one everytime I shower :)

2. I prefer gummy candy over chocolate

3. Whenever I say I'm not going to do something, I give in eventually. I think it's the thought of not being able to have it that kills me.

4. I don't understand the concept of designer purses...like Coach. They are ugly and have the same emblem on them repeatedly. Why would you want the same ugly, expensive, worthless purse as everyone else? They have cheaper and cuter ones that you can always replace when your mind changes

5. Pencils. I prefer mechanical ones over real ones. I always have to have a 'sharp tip' to get the best out of my note taking

6. Low cut shirts. I get it. You have it and some others don't. The way people act upon you is by first impressions. If you want to be noticed in a good way Ladies, tuck em' in! You will never find Mr. Right with your tatas hanging out. You will only find Mr. Temporary. If this is your way of seeking attention and feeling good about yourself,then I feel very sorry for you.

7. If you want something then you should go for it. Life will not be handed to you. AND dont talk about wanting something soooo bad and not go for it. It irritates me. I want to see people do what THEY want to do. Make your own choices.

8. Looks and Money are not everything! You can date the most attractive person with the best clothes and car, but be miserable that they don't make you laugh or just plainly annoy you. Materialism is fake, and so are the people that follow it. Be original and appreciate the natural things in life. Everyone has some sort of baggage so don't criticize people until you really get to know them.

9. Jagged nails. Your hands show the kind of person you are. Simple, well-kept, unruly, or hostile. Just look at someone's hands and you will see this. A person with jagged nails could be a secret messy person. A person with well kept nails could be a person who is well organized, clean, and caring. If they take care of themselves then they will take care of you. OVER CARE of themselves means they are far too into themselves to even want to care about you...watch out for the high-maintenence ones. Look at people's hands and see if it matches your analyzation. It's fun.

10. You cannot change people. People are the way they are. Yeah, they can learn lessons but they do things based on their insticts. You CAN change the way you react to their behavior and attitudes.

11. People who talk about working out...not a fan. If you are an athlete then that's great. It's not that we aren't proud of your accomplishments, but it gives off a sense or arrogance, even if you don't mean to. BUT there is a difference between discussing how you are doing and just excessively talking about it. Advice is good, but comparing yourself to others in an arrogant way is not.

12. Something about a man with good teeth gets me. For some it's the butt, the arms, the chest, the piercings. For me it's the dark hair and nice teeth. Same kind of guys I've always went for. My first boyfriend had dark hair and nice teeth. It's not that I don't like blonds, but I've just always prefered dark hair, something about them seeming more masculine I guess.

13. Negativity is so unattractive. I'm guilty of it too. I've found myself saying mean things about people and later think to myself "why would I say that?" It's natural to be attracted to positive people and to have negative conversations based on sameness. But most positives will make you feel good. Now be the same because no one likes a Negative Nancy. I, myself, am working on this.

14. Intelligence. Use your brain to show your inner beauty to hold them.

15. Have a heart. If you are willing to ask, then you should be more than willing to give.

16. Make the best of what you got! Everyone has something unique about themselves, but some just don't use it to it's full potential. If you can sing, sing your heart out for all to hear. If you can paint, then paint. If you are funny, make people laugh. Use the gifts that God gave you in life. You will be remembered by them.

17. Smile More :):):) A smile shows that you are happy, which can make others happy.

18. Take chances. Tell that special someone that you love them, take that trip you've always wanted to take, say what's on your mind, if you want something then say it or do it! Life is full of choices and when you open that door to having more choices it makes you stronger and makes life more exciting :)

My Faith Lives On!

Have you ever doubted where or how we came about into this world and how things happen? I do ALL the time. Finding myself in heated debates with local friends and families, I can always find a way to contradict the reasons to why there ISN'T a God. To answer my questions, I ask questions and research things in my spare time. Wanna hear of a couple good and way-off things that make me question my faith ever? Here they are:

1. Oddly, my roommate and I got on topic about gay marriage. Actually, it really isn't THAT odd because it is something that is more and more serious every day. I have a cousin who was born male, but has always believed that he was meant to be female. He dresses as a girl and does everything the typical girl does. My family was Catholic before, but the Church refused to accept of his ways and denied my family. They had to switch to First Congregational, a church that I have grown up with that accepts differentiality.

Onto the debate part...I randomly asked the question "If God does not accept gay people then why do males have a G-spot in their (you-know)?" Is there a reason why males have a sexual place there and women don't? It boiled down to the human anatomy and I asked everyone I knew. Some people thought I was nuts and sick in the head for even wondering something like that, but it makes you wonder that 'If God doesn't want men to be with other men, then why would he give them a spot to be pleasurable with other men? After researching with my coworker we found out that women do too. So, that put a rest to that thought.

2. There are other things that I don't find very fallible when it comes to religion. For some reason, I have this friend that is not religious at all. Yeah, he does good, but he doesn't ever talk about God and how he is ever "thankful" for the path that God has given him. He says "Count your Blessings" and that he has the life because HE made it that way. I get it....but life is not that hard for him. NO JOKE. All his friends go through things and life is seriously a breeze for this kid. He has it really good and he knows it. Why would God give such an easy life for someone who isn't even a believer?

3. Is religion just something to keep the world at peace? If we didn't have religion then our world would be chaotic. It could possibly be a way for people to just enjoy life and to not be so afraid of death. People have to be told that they are going somewhere afterwards so they don't freak out. It's a comforting matter. We will never know.

There are so many things that have made me question my faith, but I can't necessarily think of all of them right now. At my time in life, it's a constant question..."Religion or Science?" Which is more right? I usually have to see something to believe it and don't understand why God can't just give people like us in this day and age a sign that he IS here?! If God gave all these signs and such way back when, then why is it such a problem to do so now?

This is where I am getting at...Yesterday was a total turnaround for me. There are some people that believe in signs, and some that believe that signs are just a way to make people feel more at ease. Kind of like having something to fall back on. I used to believe in signs....I would see them everyday! It was always when I was LEAST expecting them. I would think "is this supposed to mean what I think it is?" Until these signs drove me into a phychological mess. Not kidding. I would end up thinking "This is supposed to happen and why hasn't it yet?" After that I blew up and decided that I don't believe in signs anymore. It was a very depressing time in my life and I NEVER want to go back to that anymore. I now beleive everything is mental. You can control ANYTHING you want with your mind. You just have to know how to work it.

Yesterday was a totally different thing for me though. My grandpa had brain surgery and there was a good chance that he would not survive. He had a brain tumor under his brain and it took the doctors nearly 10 hours to get the whole procedure done. Oddly there were no complications what so ever. I call this a miracle. He is already walking and talking today and I can't believe it! This miracle has made me more faithful to God than ever.

My grandpa was not a Christian when he first met my grandmother. He later thought that he wanted to expand his relationship with my grandma and become closer to God. Becoming a Southern Baptist preacher at my church growing up, he taught me all I know about the Lord. My grandpa is the best description of a Man that I can think of. He has always been such a gentleman, taking care of our whole family, and living his life for God everyday. My family is very religious on my mom's side, and because they were so religious it made me want to find a way to prove them wrong.

Going to college you learn new things and it opens your mind to all these theories and stories. But the truth is that you have to be faithful. I'm not one to try and convince someone to be a Christian, but until after my grandfather's sugery I always doubted my religion. I feel like God was with my grandpa during his surgery and my grandpa knew it the whole time. That surgery is a very dangerous one, but since my grandpa has been a good and faithful christian, God made it easy for him. It was hard for other faimilies to see my ENTIRE family being in the waiting room and constantly hearing good news when some were accompanied by flat-liners. Disturbing, as my sister described it, but you could feel the presesnce of God is how most would describe.

A few little side stories that I think are pretty interesting that lead up to my grandpas surgery:

*A large colorful tucan-like bird flew into my grandparent's yard just a couple days before his surgery. They had to call some animal control thing to get it down. The bird liked my grandpa and sat perched on his arm. My grandpa LOVES birds and likes to go bird watching when it's nice out. They found out that the owners of the bird lived two houses down from them. The woman just so happened to be one of the nurses who worked at the hospital that my grandpa's surgery was at.

*Originally my grandpa had seen a surgeon who was moving to Oregon to continue his practice. The surgeon gave the name of another doctor who my grandpa would be working with. After a while, my grandpa received a phone call from the hospital saying that the orignal surgeon that's moving would like to see him again...7:30 am sharp. My granparents went to the hospital to see him and the surgeon looked confused. He said "what are you doing here Dennis?" My grandpa said "I was told to meet with you." The surgeon said that he had no recollection of saying anything like that, but they carried on in conversation. My grandpa told him "I am not afraid of death. I am a firm believer in Jesus Christ and I feel like everything will be OK. God is telling me that it is going to be OK." The surgeon went on and told my grandpa how is was born a Muslim and then switched over to Christianity. He prays everytime before his surgeries and even said a prayer for my grandpa. It's just kinda cool how things happen :)

What I am saying is that I grew up as a believer. You go through your phases of questioning things and wondering if you are wasting your time. Everyone has a different outlook on things in life and after all this wondering I was presented with a miracle. My question to God was answered. He gave me the sign that I have been asking for and he used my Grandpa to show it. I will no longer doubt God and live life by loving him and thanking him.

Count Your Blessings!
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