The Blue Mole Buffoon

A lady of blue that I forgot to mention decided to share her presence with us today, this could possibly be because God thought she deserved to have a whole entire blog dedicated to her. And she will. Allow me to set the scene:


My head is down, looking at the checks that I am entering into the computer so I can balance my drawer. In my own state of mind, with nothing to keep me from doing anything any different than I am at that time, I hear a "HUUUUHHHHHH?!!!" I knew it. I instantly looked up and to my right there she was. The lady in the long, down-feathered baby blue coat with messy boy cut hair as white as snow is standing in front of the other teller stand. I don't say anything, because if I do then I will interrupt her outlandish conversation with the other teller. She has her cane in hand and is swinging it around trying to point at the smart car that we have displayed in our lobby.

"WHAT'S THAT??!!!" She yells. She always yells.

"It's a smart car...if you stand next to it, it will make you smart!" says the other teller.

She just stares and then repeatedly yells "EIGHTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!??? YOU NEED A BIG JUNKER FROM CALIFORNIA IS WHAT YOU REALLY NEED THERE!"

She then goes on her rampage about her crazy ideas. "I FOUND A BLACKLINER STAGE COACH THAT WILL TAKE ME TO L.A.! I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT NONE OF THAT GREY HOUND STUFF NO MORE! YOU KNOW...IT'S HARD LIVIN OUT IN L.A.. I USED TO LIVE THERE...BARELY, BUT ENDED UP QUITTIN' IN JUNE OF 1978 AND MOVED OUT HERE!"

The other teller carries on conversation with her, asking her random questions just so we can hear what she says next. "What if you get raped when you go out there? You don't want to go to L.A. on your own do you?"

"RAPED? RAPED? WHEN? BY WHO? RAPED?" I could have sworn she almost sounded interest in the idea of being raped.

The conversation carried on, but I can't possibly remember all the things this woman has to say. The most memorable thing about this woman is her tear drop of snot that dangles from the end of her nose everytime she approaches my desk. She's very graceful when her 7" tongue can reach out of the side of her mouth to lick the hairy mole that lies right above her chin, displaying the one tooth she has left.

She is another one of the ladies that comes in often. I'll refer to her as the Blue Mole Baffoon.